Matrimonio – Marriage

Hello!

This past week I spent thinking about marriage.

Some already experienced being married and there are some others who:

  • Don’t want to know about marriage
  • Prefer to be single but with benefits
  • Prefer to be single 100%
  • Dream about marriage

For those who dream of marriage, for those who are married, or for you single person who still do not know what option you will take; My intention is to share what marriage is and what it is not from my point of view about life.

In a marriage

We have the same way of seeing life

– Here I consider it is important to know what is the spiritual / mental state of your beloved

– What life plans do we have as a couple; what would happen if one of the two gets sick, etc.

Is he/she your best friend

  • Fraternal love does not demand the sexual act
  • I can talk to my best friend about absolutely everything
  • I can show myself as I am (although this should start when we were courting)

What marriage is not?

Marriage is not to be taken lightly, it is not boring or tasteless.

In a marriage, your spouse is not the center of your happiness, or your peace, or the one who completes your desires.

If we marry the idea that your spouse is to make you happy or he/she is to fulfill all your dreams perhaps we should have seek after a genie or someone to give orders or get the clown to keep us smiling all the time.

If it does not perform to our expectations (economically, physically) if it does not please our desires (to travel, make you smile every day), etc. Then love ends, I no longer love such person and I move into the next person.

Difficult times may come. Difficulties like illness, timed of scarcity, you will both age, you will get moody, etc.

If your happiness depends on you, there will be times when you yourself will go through moments of sadness, difficulties, doubts.

From the way I see life, true joy, peace … comes from Christ.

Explaining a tad more; the culture will say that you are the center. If the center is you, then we become selfish. If the world is to revolve around you, then why would you like to marry someone?

If instead we have this willingness to support our beloved, to serve, to forgive, to be slow to anger, then marriage makes sense, that becomes a male and female who really love.

I have heard and read this phrase

“Happy wife, happy life”

I used to applaud this phrase, until … one day I recognized that it is a petty phrase, that phrase only focuses on the wishes and desires of the wife. In marriage we are two individuals who become one. Like play doh; two different colors unite; How do you separate two different colors of play do once they are mixed?

The Ceremony, The Ritual

The majority marries with much joy and many dreams. Most marry because they like each other, usually there the idea of love, there are promised of doing good. At the beginning there is the believe that they lived happily ever after, as in romantic movie, as in fairy tale, etc.

Most have some kind of ceremony. Those who believe in a Divine being marry in a church or temple, and all who marry do so before the law, signing a piece of paper.

Many are drawn to the ceremony and preparations, many do not take that step because they are not economically prepared, in my opinion, lack of savings for a big wedding is simply an excuse. I know couples who did something small and simple because they wanted to say yes to each other.

The wedding ceremony is not a synonym of marriage.

What marriage is

Marriage is a pact, a commitment for life. Ideally, it is unbreakable.

Marriage is fun and full of flavor, when two are committed to be one.

What most do not tell or talk about is about the sad days, those days in which our minds wonder… it would have been better to be alone, it would have been different if I married (such or such), almost nobody talks about the days when we get angry, the days when there are problems, there are diseases, in conclusion … most of us shut about the difficult moments.

In this life we will go through everything, the beautiful, easy moments, with little hearts and also sad, ugly, difficult moments, with thunder and lightning.

Now is on fashion the idea that marriage is only the signing of the paper.

Marriage is more than a signing a paper, yes there is paper involved, but there is much more. Marriage is a commitment.

Other options

I understand that separation is an option in certain cases, I also understand that divorce is an option for other cases; This last option in my opinion is so on fashion and often misused. Keep in mind that my position about marriage is based on what my Heavenly Father says.

Now the easy thing is cohabitation (in my opinion), you give everything of yourself and if it doesn’t work, let the next person come.

Living together, you give everything of yourself, some decide to sign the piece of paper and magically, they couple become bitter or no longer in love? And they blamed the piece of paper. Paper is that, paper, check your heart, there is the possibility that you were appearing to be someone who you were not. With or without paper you should have shown yourself as you are.

Re-think

If you are thinking about getting married, if you are thinking about giving marriage vows of I will take care of you at all times, re-think about it.

Marriage, that of which it is until death do us part, is like climbing to the top of the highest mountain or to a remote place.

Sometimes it seems that you will not arrive.

Be careful with the distractions (there is always someone more beautiful/handsome than, more intelligent than, has more than … you know, temptations).

In a marriage two people come with different ways of life, different experiences. It would be good to have a common denominator and that is super if the common denominator is Christ.

Marriage really demands time, work, energy.

My testimony

My beloved and I have been married for more than a decade and a half … in these times you cannot sing victory, if it was until death separated us, you will know as time goes by and as long as our hearts are willing to serve and to love our creator (because temptations would be there).

To this day I am happily married and choosing my Beloved day by day.

Your opinion

How about you?

Single, Married, Divorced?

In your opinion that makes a marriage flourish?

En Español

Hola!

Esta semana que paso estuve pensando en el matrimonio.

Algunos ya experimentaron el estar matrimoniados y algunos otr@s que:

• No quieren saber de matrimonio

• Prefieren estar solteros pero con beneficios

• Estar solter@s al 100%

• Sueñan con el matrimonio

Para los que sueñan con el matrimonio, para los que están matrimoniados, o para ti solter@ que aún no sabes que opción tomarás; mi intención es compartir lo que el matrimonio es y lo que no es desde mi punto de ver la vida.

En un matrimonio

Tenemos el mismo modo de ver la vida

⁃ Aquí considero que es importante saber cual es el estado espiritual/mental de tu amad@

⁃ Que planes de vida tenemos; que pasaría si uno de los dos se enferma, etc

Es tu mejor amig@

• El amor fraternal no demanda de intimidad sexual (la intimidad sexual puede decaer)

• Puedo hablar con mi amad@ de absolutamente todo

• Puedo mostrarme tal cual (aunque esto debería empezar cuando te cortejan)

Lo que no es

El matrimonio no es aburrido, no es desabrido.

En un matrimonio, tu cónyuge no es el centro de tu felicidad, de tu paz, el/la que completa tus deseos.

Si nos casamos con la idea de que te hagan eternamente feliz y que cumplan todos tus sueños tal cual, quizas nos debimos encontrar un genio o una bella genio, alguien a quien dar ordenes o al payaso o payasa que nos tenga sonriendo todo el tiempo.

 

Si no te rinde (economicamente, fisicamente) si no complace tus gustos (de viajar, hacerte sonreir todos los dias), etc. entonces ya no nos amamos y que pase el o la siguiente.

Si tu felicidad depende de que el o ella te haga feliz, habrán momentos difíciles, de enfermedad, de vacas flacas. Si tu felicidad depende de ti, habrán momentos en los que tu mism@ pasarás por momentos de tristezas, de dificultades, de dudas. Desde la forma en la que veo la vida, el verdadero gozo, paz… viene de Cristo.

Me explayo: la cultura dirá que el centro eres tú. Si el centro eres tu, entonces nos volvemos egoístas. Y para que nos matrimoniamos entonces.

Si en cambio tenemos esta disposición de apoyar a nuestro amad@, de servir, de perdonar, de ser lentos para la ira, entonces ese matrimonio es de dos personas que realmente aman.

He escuchado y leído esta frase

“Esposa feliz, vida feliz”

Solía aplaudir esta frase, hasta que… un día reconocí que es una frase mezquina, que solo se enfoca en los deseos de la esposa. Y en un matrimonio somos dos en uno. Como cuando la plastilina de dos colores distintos de unen; como los desunes?

La Ceremonia, El Ritual

La mayoria se casa con mucha alegria y con muchos sueños. La mayoria se casa gustandose, queriendose, y prometiendose todo lo bueno. Y se cree que vivieron felices para siempre, como en las peliculas romanticas, como en los cuentos de hadas, etc.

La mayoria tiene algun tipo de ceremonia. Los que creen en un ser Divino en una iglesia o templo, y todos los que se casan lo hacen ante la ley, firmando un papelito.

A muchos les llama la atención la ceremonia y los preparativos, muchos no toman ese paso porque no están preparados económicamente, a mi parecer, lo económico es excusa. Conozco a parejas que hicieron algo simple y sencillo porque querían darse el sí!

La ceremonia de boda no es sinónimo de matrimonio.

Lo Que Es

El matrimonio es un pacto, un compromiso de vida. Lo ideal es que sea inquebrantable.

El matrimonio no se toma a la ligera. El matrimonio es divertido y lleno de sabor cuando dos se comprometen a ser uno.

Lo que la mayoria no cuenta es los dias tristes, esos dias en que pasa por la mente… hubiera sido mejor estar sol@, hubiera sido distinto si me casaba con (tal o cual),  casi nadie cuenta de los dias que se enojan, los dias en que hay problemas, hay enfermedades, en conclusion … la mayoria calla los momentos dificiles.

Y es que en esta vida se pasa por todo, por momentos lindos, faciles, con corazoncitos y tambien por momentos tristes, feos, dificiles, con truenos y centellas.

Ahora la idea de que el matrimonio es solo un papel, esta de moda.

El matrimonio es mas que un papel, si hay papel de por medio, pero hay mucho mas.

Otras opciones

Entiendo que la separación es una opción en ciertos casos, entiendo también que el divorcio es una opción para otros casos; esta última opción a mi parecer está muy de moda y se mal usa. Tengan en cuenta que mi posición a cerca de el matrimonio se basa en lo que dice mi Padre Celestial.

Ahora lo facil es convivir (en mi opinion), das todo de ti y si no funciona, que pase el o la siguiente.

Convivir, das todo de ti, algunos deciden firmar el papelito y como arte de magia se vuelven amargado o amargada? Y le hechas la culpa al papelito. El papel es eso, papel, revisa tu corazón y cabe la posibilidad que estabas aparentando algo que no eras, con o sin papelito debiste mostrarte tal cual.

Re-Piénsalo

Si estas pensando en casarte, si estas pensando en dar votos matrimoniales de te voy a cuidar en todo tiempo, re-piensalo.

El matrimonio, ese de que es hasta que la muerte nos separe, es como subir a la cima mas alta de la montaña o a un lugar remoto.

A veces parece que no vas a llegar.

Cuidado con distraerte (es que siempre hay alguien mas lind@ que, mas inteligente que, tiene mas que… ustedes saben, las tentaciones).

En un matrimonio venimos dos personas con diferentes modos de vida, diferentes experiencias. Sería bueno tener un común denominador y que súper si el común denominador es Cristo.

El matrimonio demanda de tiempo, trabajo, energía.

Mi Testimonio

El amado mio y yo llevamos casado ya mas de una decada y media… en estos tiempos no se puede cantar victoria, si fue hasta que las muerte nos separó, lo sabrán con forme pase el tiempo y mientras nuestros corazones esten dispuestos a servir y a amar a nuestro creador (porque las tentaciones, están a la orden de el día).

Hasta el día de hoy estoy felizmente casada y eligiendo a mi Amado día a día.

Tu opinión

Y tú?

Solter@, Casad@, Divorciad@?

En tu opinión que hace que un matrimonio florezca?

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