Cyber Social

“In life there are many tensions and balance is key for most things” -Monica Evans-

Sometimes I read “don’t do things in excess” and for the most part I would agree with that.

Balance in the use of social media?

I would like for our teens to abstain from using social media but that is not a reality. The legal age to open a social media account is 13 – yes thirteen years old.

A thirteen years old person is not mature enough to travel through the waters of social media alone.

Have you taken the time to see your teen’s social media account?

In the known 

“We can guide what is known, we cannot help with what is hidden” -Monica Evans-

Without going into specific details, just some information to paint a picture.

My significant other (a.k.a best friend, a.k.a father of our sons, a.k.a husband) prays for the Lord to reveal to us the areas where we are blind.

As parents we rather know what is going on than to be blind and think that everything is going “perfectly”.

Someone reached out to let us know that the son of our heart had social media (yes, we did not know), this open the door to talk about social media, the dangers, the benefits, etc.

We’ve seeing: teens expressing their desire to self-harm, teens doing drugs, drinking alcohol, Rated XXX clips (IG, Snapchat are for sure good platforms to share all of the above and more).

Did you know that through gaming systems your kids, tweens, teens, can connect with others? With unknown others, some who may appear to be young and innocent?

I recall receiving a message asking for specifics whereabouts, what kind of clothes was using (and other questions that seemed rather awkward), we did block such individual, I sure wanted to get more information to alert the authorities, it got to the point of been rather unsettling. 

Although we are not with our sons 24/7, we can have some boundaries at home, we cannot read their minds… and if we are imperfect, they are also imperfect and capable of lying, deceiving,etc just as I am (we are) capable of doing so.

We avoid trying to be the parents who say “my child would never (fill the blank).

House boundaries 

• Rooms are electronic free 

• TV free

• Computer Free

• Cellphone Free
• Gaming system Free

Homework and electronics 

• Common areas 

• During certain hours
• They can see the history of what we see

• We can see the history of what they see

Social media

If within age

• We can check their profile at any time (no warning needed)
• We can follow them
• We can see their messages

When eating at home, at the restaurant, or when doing an activity as a family

• Electronics are set aside 

• Cell phone free zone 

Two things to add

Sharing this story I found someone who had to deal with the ordeal of not knowing the social media activity of their daughter.

Teens, Tweens, Kids, are clever just as adults are. We humans are mischievous and when we are doing things that are not right we have the tendency to hide.

Beware, teens now are using Google Docs to hide information

There are other social media outlets that are not known among adults yet are popular among teens

• Askfm

• Whisper

• Houseparty 

By the time I post this entry there maybe new apps. Apps are tools, just like a knife or gun.

Dear mom, dad, friend, uncle, aunt, grandma, grandpa, could you talk to your teen about social media?

Maybe read to them the danger … probably they have heard of it already… but you know what? Is best when they hear from the ones closed to home, even when at the beginning they will roll their eyes, or think that the conversation is dumb (I was that teen, maybe not in the outward appearance, but my heart was rolling eyes and I am so thankful my parents talked to me about the issues that were on fashion back then).

At your service, for YHWH’s Glory.

Mónica Evans